Random. Totally Random.

Just some random thoughts this past week. - Always knew Clemens was a user. - The writers' strike officially stinks. I should be able to go home after work this fine Thursday evening and watch a new episode of The Office. The love of money truly is the root of all evil. - We took our annual trek to Southern Lights last night. We went with my mom and my sister's family, as is the case most years. Someone had the bright idea that it would be nice to have a girls' vehicle and a boys' vehicle. That meant that Haley and Austin were in one car oohing and aahing over the lights, and I got to be in the car with Cameron (who was in act-as-silly-as-possible mode), Alex (who was in laugh-at-everything-Cameron-says mode) and Brandon (who was in talk-as-much-as-possible mode). Actually, it was quite fun. They tried to act like they were too old, but eventually the chatter turned to the lights. And Brandon even joined me for a rousing rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. (Yes, I know Austin is a boy, but he wanted to be in whatever car Amber was in.) - Haley went to for her neuropsyche eval yesterday. Apparently she handled it very well. While we won't know the results of most of the testing for a week or so, we do know two things: 1) Academically, Haley is solidly average, which is a good thing. 2) She is very, very good at comparing and contrasting. - Speaking of Haley, she's exceptionally competitive. In everything. She wants to race down the stairs. She wants to race to see who finishes their food first. She wants to win every game. She wants to be prettier, bigger, smarter, faster, funnier than everyone else. What's funny is that she's often saying "Alyssa (the neighbor girl) thinks everything is competition." Another funny: when I was on my way home one day, she told Kelsee that the first one down the stairs to greet me at the door won a kiss with me. Nice. - Big K sodas aren't bad. They make the best red cream soda, in my opinion. There orange pop, mixed with vanilla ice cream, makes a mean orangecicle float. And I've just discovered they have a decent knock-off of Mountain Dew Code Red. - Our insurance and health care system sucks. For like the 86th year in a row, my insurance plan had a double digit increase in premiums and a decrease in coverage. And it still takes months to get in with some specialists. The issue is on the platform every election. Just once I'd like the president and congress to do something to make it better. - December 22. BYU in the Las Vegas Bowl. Go Cougars! (BTW, the BCS sucks. So do conference/bowl affiliations. Nine of the 12 teams playing on New Year's Day have worse records than the Y and five of them are ranked lower. Plus, all six games have a larger payout than the LV Bowl. Sheesh.) That's all. Until next week...

What's the Point?

Cold weather with no snow is pointless. It's like junk food with no flavor. It's like the emperor's new clothes, an All Star game with no winner, or a ballyhoo'd report on steroid use with no proof. It serves no real purpose. I mean, what do we look forward to in winter? Is it the breath-taking freezing wind gusts, or is it the beautifully falling snow, the outdoor activities with your kids, the adventure of driving among folks who act like they've never seen the white stuff, let alone drive on it? Plus doesn't it seem more like Christmast when it snows? No one sings "I'm dreaming of a brown Christmas!" And "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" most certainly didn't refer to walking across muddy brownspaces. I wasn't prepared for the snow last year. We didn't have lots, but when it did come, Haley and I attempted to sled down our little hill on 1) a large cookie sheet and 2) a garbage bag. Didn't work well. However, Haley and I made snow angels and had a snow fight (not a snowball fight; it was too powdery and didn't stick together well). We also built a snow mountain (no, not a snowman; see the previous parentheses). Anyway, I think Santa might be bringing Haley a sled this year, so we better get some measurable snow. We had plenty of white-free winters in Seattle. Let me leave you with a classic but excellent video. It's the Evolution of Dance at its finest.

Finding a Career

Haley wants to be a cheerleader. She wants it so bad that she mentions it all the time. It's the first item on the list of things that wants to be when she grows up. (By the way, also on the list are soccer player, basketball player, doctor, mom and, added just last Saturday, hip hop dancer.) Haley doesn't just want to be a cheerleader in school. She wants to do it for a living. The last couple of weeks, Haley's insisted on playing cheerleader when I get home from work. This play consists of me laying on my back and steadying Haley with my arms as she stands on my stomach with her arms in the air. She chants: "M-S-U!" and I answer back: "Go-Big-Blue!". We do this a few times, then cheer wildly. This desire of hers does not come as a total surprise (does the phrase "born to boogie" mean anything to you?), but it does leave me feeling a little depressed. If you are a cheerleader, a former cheerleader, or a family member of a cheerleader, please feel free to skip the rest of this post. I have a problem with my daughter becoming a cheerleader. It's my problem. I recognize it is primarily ignorance or some other less than noble issue. I can't get the stereotype out of my head: ditzy and annoying. Sure there are other stereotypes, some worse, some better, but these are the ones I've personally experienced. I've watched cheerleaders chant "De-Fense!" when their team had the ball. I've been annoyed repeatedly by the shreiky cheers, including the worst: "Guuuuu!" instead of "Gooooo!" I've watched subpar pepsters distract from the game by building precarious human towers as the audience looked on in utter horror. (Bear in mind, I'm a fan of Morehead State sports, and their cheer squads have won like 50 national titles. Much of the above paragraph doesn't apply to them, which you would think would help placate my feelings.) Like I said, this is my own problem. I'm sure others stereotype me as a jolly fellow who likes food and sits on his butt all day. And they would be right. Which is exactly my point! Anyway, I guess I'll end this. I've got to hit the web to find some new routines Haley and I can try.

Haley - 5 going on 28

Haley has suddenly developed a strong "mothering" attitude. A couple of instances: Situation 1 A few weeks ago she became obsessed with my evening personal hygeine routine. One night she after she brushed her teeth, washed her hands and put on her hand sanitizer (strawberry melon, given to her as a gift), she marched into the dining room where Kelsee and I were clearing the table. She positioned herself in front of me and the following conversation ensued: Haley: "Dad, before you go to bed you need to brush your teeth, wash your hands and use my sanitizer. OK?" Me: "Um, OK." Haley: "Promise?" Me: "Sure, honey. I promise." Of course I didn't do it. The next evening after she'd finished the same routine, she confronted me again. Haley: "Dad, did you brush your teeth, wash your hands and use my sanitizer last night?" Me: "No, dear." Haley: "But you promised!" Me: "I know. I forgot." Haley: "Promise that you'll do it tonight." Me: "OK." Now, what about Kelsee in all of this, you may ask. Nothing. Haley demands no nighttime hygeine ritual for Kelsee. I attribute this to one of two things: 1. I'm putting Haley to bed each night and she must think I stink. (This is apparently something females are born with, this concept that men are pigs.) 2. Kelsee put her up to this. ------- Situation 2 See the traffic school story on my Nov 30 post. ------- Situation 3 The other night, Kelsee and I had a fire in the fireplace. We had one of those four-hour firelogs in there, which apparently can burn for longer than four hours. Needless to say, we needed to go to bed, so we just decided to let the log burn out. We made sure everything flammable was away from the fireplace, and went to bed. Haley woke up and came to our room a few hours later and noticed the log was still burning. She commenced to confront Kelsee about it later, informing us that we should never leave our fire unattended because it could catch the house on fire. ------- Situation 4 Haley, the Peacemaker. Whenever Kelsee and I get in an animated discussion, which isn't all that often, Haley always attempts to intervene. (By the way, I don't yell, I animate. Kelsee yells.) Haley will tell us we don't need to fight, and if that doesn't work, she feigns a headache. No just so you know, to Haley any animated discussion is a fight, even if we aren't fighting. Kids. Anyway, couple these items with bribery (see Kelsee's post), drama, flirting, moodiness, and love of purses, jewelry and clothes, and we've got our hands full with a 20-something woman trapped in a five-year-old girl's body. Time to invest in some intimidating device to keep the boys at bay, or to keep her in line.

Just Because

Another week has come and (almost) gone. Sometimes I just feel like I'm passing time just to pass time. I know that the ultimate purpose of life is to live and learn and get back to heaven, but it seems like sometimes I just move along the path of life with no other objective. Kind of boring, huh? Moving on... So a sister that Kelsee and I home and visit teach passed away on Wednesday. She also happens to be the mother of some good friends, and grandmother of some of our youth. Sad, but the family seems to be at peace with everything, which is nice. And her husband, parents, some grandchildren and all but one of siblings preceeded her in death, so I'm sure it was a joyous reunion on the other side. -------- The joy of having a high deductible insurance plan is that you get another day of celebration during the year--the day you meet the deductible. Well, we did it recently and now we're scrambling to schedule doctor's appointments left and right. (The bummer here is you start making a mental list of all the ailments you have, and that can be pretty depressing.) We had scheduled a neuropsyche eval for Haley, but it had been postponed until January. We were bummed because they are fairly expensive. However, after talking with the Doc, we were able to get it rescheduled back to this month. Definitely a blessing. Of course, we'll probably meet our deductible next year, anyway, but whatever. -------- Two home MSU basketball games, and I've not been to either. Another of the many impacts of increased gas prices is that I actually have to think twice before I hop in the car and head to a game (30 miles away). Can't blame the 2nd abscence on anything but stupidity. I had, ahem, traffic school that night. Or as Haley and Kelsee so eloquently put it, Naughty School. As I got ready to leave, Haley wagged her finger at me as she chastized me for driving too fast. She told me I better never do it again. -------- I'll leave on a humorous note, from the star of Man in the Box.

Things Learned During Thanksgiving

Just a little list of things learned during Thanksgiving weekend... - Men and women are very different. (I already knew this; it was just reaffirmed.) - Traditions can be broken. I would like to officially add green bean casserole to the traditional Thanksgiving menu. (Not that I have a say on the Thanksgiving menu.) - You can actually get through Thanksgiving day without watching football. No, really. You can. I'm as stunned as you are. - Rooms with concrete floors really echo. - People really do want to beat me at things just because I'm me. I thought this was all fabricated by Kris as a creative piece of trash talk during Fantasy Football. Playing Settlers of Catan really hammered it home. Kelsee says it's because I'm smug. Whatever. It's strangely satisfying. - The one day I can eat as much as I want and not feel guilty, and I can barely finish off a second helping. Is it the stuffing expanding in my stomach? The anticipation of the event? Some strange magical spell cast upon the food? - Gut stuffing. Gut gravy. How can it be thanksgiving without it? (Those are my terms for versions of those food items laced with giblets.) Mmmm... - Don't buy a "prepared" Thanksgiving dinner from Kroger's deli. Just make your own. It's not that hard. Trust me. - BYU's got a good football team this year. And a good basketball team, too. - I love football. I even thought it was replacing basketball as my sport of choice to watch. And then basketball season started, and I realized every thing was as it should be. Football is just a pleasant diversion until basketball season starts.

Master Negotiator-in-Training

Haley loves to get her way (what preschooler doesn't?). Recently she's devised a new strategy for trying to get her way (other than the "Please mama? Please! Oh-please-oh-please-oh-please" tactic or the "I-really-really-really-really-really-really-really-really want you to do XYZ" tactic). The other day I was babysitting Haleigh (1). She was napping. Haley (5) wanted to wake her up to play. We go through the "please-can-I-wake-her-up-noooooooow" routine many times each day. When she asked to wake her up, I wasn't surprised. When she didn't throw a tantrum over my "no", I was surprised. Before I could respond happily about her self-control she hopped up on a chair beside me, clapped her hands and the following conversation ensued: Haley: "Ok, mama, here's the deal. I'll give you two dollars from my piggy bank if you'll let me wake her up". Mama: "No" (trying not to laugh). Haley, hopefully: "Okay, three dollars?!" Mama: "No." Haley, more desperate: "Four dollars?" Mama: "No, Haley!" Haley, truly desperate now: "16 million dollars? I reeeeeeeally want to wake her up." Mama: "Nope! Good try though!" Tantrum. Oh well. At least she's getting creative in her old age!

5 year pictures

For Kally. Because we love her so.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Yep. The Sunday BEFORE Thanksgiving, and the tree is already up. Haley has been stoked for Christmas this year. I told Kelsee earlier today that I think this year will be the best one so far because Haley is so into it. Kelsee reminded me that I said that last year. And the year before that. And... Anyway, Haley's love affair with Christmas began a couple of weeks ago when an American Girl catalog showed up in the mail. She carried it with her everywhere she went for three or four days. She had it already in her mind that Santa was bringing her one, even though Kelsee pointed out that they are for girls eight years old and older. Didn't phase Haley. She rarely gets that obsessed with anything that's not in the candy family, so this was serious. (For all those that don't know, American Girl dolls cost like $10,000 and only come with one little outfit; Kelsee said this is a "rite of passage." Oookaaay...) Then about a week ago, Haley suddenly became obsessed with putting up our Christmas decorations, something we normally do on the weekend after Thanksgiving. Haley was very insistent. Somehow she convinced her mother (probably with a sweet hug and a "Pleeeeeze, Mama? Pleeeeeze! Oh-please-oh-please-oh-please!!") So the decorations went up on Friday and the tree went up today. The only real drawback is I'll get tired of the Christmas music by December 10th instead of the 17th, but that's a small price to pay to have Haley excitedly running around the house, as she did this afternoon and evening, telling everyone in hearing distance that this was going to be the best Christmas ever. Putting up the tree is a definite event in our house. Kelsee made a new recipe of some awesome orange rolls, we spiced up some cider and we went to work. It was quite a day. But the tree looks great and a very happy 5 year old is tucked warmly into bed while visions of American Girl dolls dance in her head...

Trips, Trips, and No Trips

So, we found the deal of a lifetime, right? Discovered Skybus airlines. $10 tickets on every flight! We got 'em to fly from Columbus, OH to Bellingham, WA in January. We were pumped. Kelsee was making a list of the all the people and sites to see. I was making a list of all the restaurants I wanted to eat at. I couldn't be happier. Except that a couple of weeks ago, we got "Skybussed," which will now be my new word for when something that is too good to be true really is. Basically, Skybus cancelled all service from Columbus to Bellingham. Next closest airport is somewhere in California. The sad thing is that I wasn't even surprised. Man, life has made me a cynic.

Man in the Box

Yes, I love the Alice In Chains version, too. But this is something different. Thanks to my brother in law Kris (soon to be known as Kris1), I've been introduced to the joys of Man in the Box, an extremely hilarious short video series about a guy in a cubicle. Here's one... Or this one... Ah, I'm in heaven...

Stupid Story*

OK. You need to check out this article that Kelsee sent me. If you don't cry, or at least a tear, you are a cold, cold person... http://www.kentucky.com/454/story/227609.html * The title of this post is an inside joke. Kelsee and I used to read Ensign articles on the way to work, and by the time we got there our eyes would be all swollen and red and Kelsee's mascara was running. So whenever a story started to make us get all teary-eyed, one of us would say "Stupid story" in an effort to keep the tears at bay. Didn't work.

Ooookaaaaay...

So I'm sitting at work doing my work (or checking out the fantasy football waiver wire, I can't remember which), when an e-mail arrives. It is addressed to the Help Desk. Basically, one of our dear co-workers is unable to perform some procedure she usually performs, and she's stuck at a screen that wants a response. She sends us a screenshot, which contains the following statement: "Do you want to continue? : (Y/N) _" Fair enough question. My boss replies: "Press Y." She replies with a new e-mail, the subject line of which is: "Where is my Y?" and the body of which begins with the following line: "Bear with me because I cannot find where the Y file is." It's in your Internet. You can access it by pressing the "Any" key.

Medical Update

Most people don't have to title a weblog post with the word "medical". But hey! We're not most people! Haley seems to be doing well. We have now gone nearly three years without a shunt revision. Not bad considering we were one a year there for a while. She's taken the year off from formal schooling (her birthday was just a couple of days before the kindergarten cutoff), and we just felt better about keeping her home one more year. However, Kelsee has done a good job of helping Haley stay busy. They do workbooks, crafts, "field trips", etc. Haley has started weekly gymnastics with a really good instructor. It's like physical therapy, just cheaper. She has been having some behavior difficulties, as well as ongoing headaches. She had a couple of seizure-like episodes over the summer, and is being monitored by a neurologist and a developmental pediatrician. She just recently began taking a new medication and we've seen a definite improvement in her behavior. Kelsee is trudging along. She having to deal with the fact that she may have seen all the improvement there is in her mobility and issues with her back and legs. She still experiences consistent numbness, frequent tingling, and decreased mobility. Just like Haley, she gets tired quickly during the day. But, of course, she refused to slow down. I've been dealing with a new medical issue--hearing loss. Actually, I've had hearing loss for a while; however, it was just easier to chalk it up to "selective hearing". Anyway, it had gotten bad enough that I was beginning to get frustrated having to ask everyone to repeat themselves and feeling like I was missing things. Kelsee was just about at wits end with me, and Haley had begun to emphasis how she wished I could hear better. Anyway, I finally went to the ENT, and here's what transpired in a nutshell:

1. Went to ENT. Had hearing test, met with doctor, had tubes put in my ears. (Yes, they do that with adults! Leave me alone.) Anyway, the test showed potential conductive hearing loss (seen as mild in the lower tones), which can often be eliminated with tubes. Though in this case, I feel like they put tubes in to meet their procedure quota.
2. Right ear (my better ear) got an infection. Spent a month, three antibotics, and lots of money trying to zap it.
3. Infection cleared up, but hearing didn't.
4. Went back to ENT. Had hearing test again which now showed mild hearing loss in the higher tones as well as the lower tones. It was worse in my right ear (formerly known as my better ear) than my left, but both showed mild impairment. Audiologist recommended hearing aids; ENT recommended meeting with their hearing guru. Whatever.
5. Hearing aids cost from $1000-3000 each, and aren't covered by insurance. Isn't that lovely?
6. Met with audiologist to discuss hearing aids. Left audiologist without hearing aids.
7. Will instead carry cone shaped hearing device and say, "Eh???" whenever anyone talks to me.
8. Will blame my "selective listening" on my mild neural-whatever hearing loss.

They say you are only as old as you feel. I'll be celebrating my 85th birthday next year. You are all welcome to attend.

More Updates...

I'm hoping that by setting up a weblog, Kelsee and I will be more likely to update our friends and family on what's going on in our little world. This is just the beginning of something beautiful. Right...