Random Thoughts...

So earlier this week I created an exceptionally creative and humorous post about who I was writing this blog for. Unfortunately, I lost the post through some irritating and stupid action on the part of me and my web browser. I'd worked on it, crafting a work of art, and in the blink of an eye it was gone. Needless to say, I couldn't summon the creative aptitude to create another post. The only reason I'm here posting this at this point is that my brain has accumulated an assortment of random thoughts that I need to get up here.

• Seems as though schools get cancelled for a lot less crappy weather now than they did when I was in school, or even a few years ago. Someone spits on the road and it gets too cold, they call off school. My theory has always been financial--we're a lawsuit happy society. Bus drives in difficult conditions, bus wrecks, kid gets hurt, parents sue. My friend Kirk adds another wrinkle to the finacial theory--it gets too cold, district must heat the schools, which ain't cheap. Since schools can't afford to provide all the services and programs to students anyway, they call off school instead of paying to heat the schools. Sounds good.
• I'm feeling old. Twice this last week, Kelsee has assisted me in the this endeavor. 1) While watching a Morehead State basketball game last week, our little group was talking about the crowd favorite, a freshman named Ken Faried. Someone noted that he is still just 17, to which Kelsee replied, "Jason, he's half your age." 2) We were watching House Hunters International the other night, and the couple on the show, who were about 40 years old each, commented that they had done things conventionally for the first half of their lives and that they wanted to do things differently the second half. I mentioned that I thought that sounded like a good idea, to which Kelsee replied, "Well, your second half starts in five years." Add in Kelsee's observation of a couple of weeks ago that she thought I was entering a midlife crisis at only 34 and she's being very helpful to my efforts to age ungracefully. Thanks, honey. 'Preciate it.
• Haley story: So we had a family home evening lesson recently about keeping the Sabbath day holy. Anyway, so we're at home late Sunday afternoon, and I just figured I'd sit down to watch catch a little of the NFL playoffs. Haley, who was messing with barbies in the same room with me, whips her head up and gasps within seconds of me landing on the channel. "Daddy, this is not keeping the Sabbaf day holy!" *Sigh* Chastized again by my 5-year-old. (BTW, this is the same kid who nearly panics when we pick up the sister missionaries and we have our non-church playing on the radio when they come out of their apartment.)
• So, I'm trying to adjust to life with glasses. I still have good acuity (20/20 or whatever), but I've developed an astigmatism, which basically means my eyeball is an egg and not a sphere. Anway, the biggest irritation isn't getting smudges or water droplets on them. Nor is it knocking them off when I take my sweatshirt off. It's not the weird feeling of looking through pane of glass constantly, either. It's that I keep getting caught staring at people. I never used to wear sunglasses much, but when I did, I could follow people along with my eyes and stare a little longer at the interesting ones. Sunglasses are great, because you can hide behind them. Now my instinct is to stare when I have my regular glasses on and when people see me the glare at me or quickly walk away. I guess this is bringing out my creepy side. Someone's going to punch me someday.

Unusual Post

This post isn't funny. It makes no attempts to funny, and that is unusual. I'm just feeling a little subdued at the moment. This was an interesting weekend. I'm not going to go into details, but it was a definite weekend of reflection. I woke up this morning feeling exceptionally glad I'm a member of my family. I feel like I have the best wife and daughter anyone could ever have, and I'm not sure why Heavenly Father blessed me that way. What did I do to deserve it? In spite of all my failings, weaknesses, inadequacies and idiosyncracies...

Moving Day (and a bonus Haley story)

From a office with an window to a cube. Our company continues to grow, and our space can hardly contain us. So they took an old file room in the middle of our office suite and crammed six cubicles in there. Guess who gets the cubes? The IT and Development teams! Before, we were in offices on the perimeter of the suite, with great window views of the pond outside. Now the view consists of beige cubicle walls. But it's really not as bad as it seems, for me at least. 1. I shared my other office with one and a half other people. (Ever seen half of a person? Pretty gruesome.) We were separated with cubicle walls. 2. The position of my computer that made the most sense put my back to the window and the afternoon sun made it impossible to see my screen. I used to have my blinds open in the morning and closed in the afternoon. I got lazy and quit opening them in the morning. 3. My old office had a key pad you had to punch a code into to get in. While this was good for keeping the undesirables out, it was a pain in the butt. You had to punch in every time you wanted to get in. The sound was annoying on days when folks kept coming and going. The door was finicky and if you didn't close it just right the flashing silent alarm would go off and you'd have go up front and disarm it. But hey, at least my stuff was secure from all the hoodlums here. 4. In my new cubicle, my back is toward the entry, so people can sneak up on me and scare me, which should definitely add to the excitement of the day. 5. Since our office was locked to the unprivileged, I had to do garbage duty once a week. That also meant that our office never got vacuumed. You should have seen it. ------- On another note, a Haley story. Last night before we went to bed we were working with Haley on her letters as part of her "schooling." We have these big plastic letters. Kelsee would hold them up and ask Haley what letter it was and what sound it made. Occasionally, I would ask Haley for a word that starts with that letter. (This was probably in an attempt to not be left out.) Anyway, we got to V. When I asked her for a word that started with V, she shrugged her shoulders. I tried to give her a hint. "What did we drive to church today?" We drive a van, by the way. She thought for a minute, and finally said: "Vvvvvvv-ehicle." Only Haley.

Now That the Fun is Over

Well, the holiday season is over. I'm not sure what that means exactly, at least with regards to my life. Fewer parties, I presume. Less eating. Well, at least less frequent eating. I can say that this was one of the most satisfying holiday season, though. We can thank Haley for that. First of all, there is nothing better than a little kid who is really starting to "get it" when it comes to Christmas. If Haley's life was like the Truman Show, we'd have handfuls of great soundbites as she built up to Christmas. She played the season exactly the way a kids should, complete with a never ending list of toy requests, questions about whether Santa was real, excitement at buying a gift for Mama (and the subsequent "secret" of keeping it from her), singing at the top of her lungs when we went caroling. A couple of stories... - As I think I mentioned in an earlier post, she carried her American Girl catalog around for days. Of course, Santa ended up bringing one, and that was her favorite gift, supplanting the Talking-And-Singing-Gabriella-from-High-School-Musical Doll. At least until that was supplanted by the Groovy Girl doll and accessories she opened a few minutes later. A few minutes later she opened a nightgown that her Grandma Kappes and Mama made for her AG doll that matched her own nightgown she'd received the night before, and the AG doll re-assumed the top spot. That changed again later that night when she received a trio of slumber party barbie dolls. But wait! That's not all! Then came the Karoake machine from Grandma Dee. Haley can't read, so the Karoake part isn't all that great. It's the fact she can play her own CDs and sing in the working microphone. Aren't we lucky? Now her favorite gift is whichever one she happens to be playing with. What a diplomatic child. - Haley is apparently an anxious child. So we'd been talking a lot about how Santa works. That he comes to our house on Christmas Eve while we are asleep and brings presents blah blah blah. Anyway, after we opened and put on our new pajamas at Kelsee's parents house (about 30 minutes from our house) we were all sitting around and talking preparing soon to head home. Haley and all the other cousins went back with their Grandma to look on the web on one of those track Santa websites and see how close Santa was to our state. At that time, he happened to be in Florida. Haley emerged from the other room with an anxious look on her face and came up to me. Suddenly she burst into tears. "Daddy I'm scared. We need to go home now. Right now. We're going to miss Santa and he won't stop at our house unless I'm asleep." Broke my heart! I consoled her and told her he was much farther away from our house than we were. Still we couldn't get out of there fast enough for her. - I sang a song in church during the Christmas program. Since this was only my third or fourth solo, I practiced it. A lot. I'd sing it in the shower. I'd sing it emptying the dishwasher. I'd sing it driving to the store. I'd sing it playing games. It got to the point that whenever I'd start to practice it, Haley would let out a groan, followed by: "Not again, Daddy!!!" - We had a ward Christmas party, ward caroling, primary caroling, a trip to Southern Lights with my family, a Kappes family party (Kelsee's dad's siblings and their brood), a birthday party for Kelsee's dad, Christmas Eve caroling, Christmas morning present-opening, Christmas afternoon present-opening (with Kelsee's family), and a day after Christmas present-opening (with my family). Sometime toward the end of all this, Haley sighed and said "I'm all Christmased out." And that was before the New Year's Eve party and spending half of New Year's Day with Sammi and Hannah. I know what you mean, Haley. I know what you mean.

Random. Totally Random.

Just some random thoughts this past week. - Always knew Clemens was a user. - The writers' strike officially stinks. I should be able to go home after work this fine Thursday evening and watch a new episode of The Office. The love of money truly is the root of all evil. - We took our annual trek to Southern Lights last night. We went with my mom and my sister's family, as is the case most years. Someone had the bright idea that it would be nice to have a girls' vehicle and a boys' vehicle. That meant that Haley and Austin were in one car oohing and aahing over the lights, and I got to be in the car with Cameron (who was in act-as-silly-as-possible mode), Alex (who was in laugh-at-everything-Cameron-says mode) and Brandon (who was in talk-as-much-as-possible mode). Actually, it was quite fun. They tried to act like they were too old, but eventually the chatter turned to the lights. And Brandon even joined me for a rousing rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. (Yes, I know Austin is a boy, but he wanted to be in whatever car Amber was in.) - Haley went to for her neuropsyche eval yesterday. Apparently she handled it very well. While we won't know the results of most of the testing for a week or so, we do know two things: 1) Academically, Haley is solidly average, which is a good thing. 2) She is very, very good at comparing and contrasting. - Speaking of Haley, she's exceptionally competitive. In everything. She wants to race down the stairs. She wants to race to see who finishes their food first. She wants to win every game. She wants to be prettier, bigger, smarter, faster, funnier than everyone else. What's funny is that she's often saying "Alyssa (the neighbor girl) thinks everything is competition." Another funny: when I was on my way home one day, she told Kelsee that the first one down the stairs to greet me at the door won a kiss with me. Nice. - Big K sodas aren't bad. They make the best red cream soda, in my opinion. There orange pop, mixed with vanilla ice cream, makes a mean orangecicle float. And I've just discovered they have a decent knock-off of Mountain Dew Code Red. - Our insurance and health care system sucks. For like the 86th year in a row, my insurance plan had a double digit increase in premiums and a decrease in coverage. And it still takes months to get in with some specialists. The issue is on the platform every election. Just once I'd like the president and congress to do something to make it better. - December 22. BYU in the Las Vegas Bowl. Go Cougars! (BTW, the BCS sucks. So do conference/bowl affiliations. Nine of the 12 teams playing on New Year's Day have worse records than the Y and five of them are ranked lower. Plus, all six games have a larger payout than the LV Bowl. Sheesh.) That's all. Until next week...

What's the Point?

Cold weather with no snow is pointless. It's like junk food with no flavor. It's like the emperor's new clothes, an All Star game with no winner, or a ballyhoo'd report on steroid use with no proof. It serves no real purpose. I mean, what do we look forward to in winter? Is it the breath-taking freezing wind gusts, or is it the beautifully falling snow, the outdoor activities with your kids, the adventure of driving among folks who act like they've never seen the white stuff, let alone drive on it? Plus doesn't it seem more like Christmast when it snows? No one sings "I'm dreaming of a brown Christmas!" And "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" most certainly didn't refer to walking across muddy brownspaces. I wasn't prepared for the snow last year. We didn't have lots, but when it did come, Haley and I attempted to sled down our little hill on 1) a large cookie sheet and 2) a garbage bag. Didn't work well. However, Haley and I made snow angels and had a snow fight (not a snowball fight; it was too powdery and didn't stick together well). We also built a snow mountain (no, not a snowman; see the previous parentheses). Anyway, I think Santa might be bringing Haley a sled this year, so we better get some measurable snow. We had plenty of white-free winters in Seattle. Let me leave you with a classic but excellent video. It's the Evolution of Dance at its finest.

Finding a Career

Haley wants to be a cheerleader. She wants it so bad that she mentions it all the time. It's the first item on the list of things that wants to be when she grows up. (By the way, also on the list are soccer player, basketball player, doctor, mom and, added just last Saturday, hip hop dancer.) Haley doesn't just want to be a cheerleader in school. She wants to do it for a living. The last couple of weeks, Haley's insisted on playing cheerleader when I get home from work. This play consists of me laying on my back and steadying Haley with my arms as she stands on my stomach with her arms in the air. She chants: "M-S-U!" and I answer back: "Go-Big-Blue!". We do this a few times, then cheer wildly. This desire of hers does not come as a total surprise (does the phrase "born to boogie" mean anything to you?), but it does leave me feeling a little depressed. If you are a cheerleader, a former cheerleader, or a family member of a cheerleader, please feel free to skip the rest of this post. I have a problem with my daughter becoming a cheerleader. It's my problem. I recognize it is primarily ignorance or some other less than noble issue. I can't get the stereotype out of my head: ditzy and annoying. Sure there are other stereotypes, some worse, some better, but these are the ones I've personally experienced. I've watched cheerleaders chant "De-Fense!" when their team had the ball. I've been annoyed repeatedly by the shreiky cheers, including the worst: "Guuuuu!" instead of "Gooooo!" I've watched subpar pepsters distract from the game by building precarious human towers as the audience looked on in utter horror. (Bear in mind, I'm a fan of Morehead State sports, and their cheer squads have won like 50 national titles. Much of the above paragraph doesn't apply to them, which you would think would help placate my feelings.) Like I said, this is my own problem. I'm sure others stereotype me as a jolly fellow who likes food and sits on his butt all day. And they would be right. Which is exactly my point! Anyway, I guess I'll end this. I've got to hit the web to find some new routines Haley and I can try.

Haley - 5 going on 28

Haley has suddenly developed a strong "mothering" attitude. A couple of instances: Situation 1 A few weeks ago she became obsessed with my evening personal hygeine routine. One night she after she brushed her teeth, washed her hands and put on her hand sanitizer (strawberry melon, given to her as a gift), she marched into the dining room where Kelsee and I were clearing the table. She positioned herself in front of me and the following conversation ensued: Haley: "Dad, before you go to bed you need to brush your teeth, wash your hands and use my sanitizer. OK?" Me: "Um, OK." Haley: "Promise?" Me: "Sure, honey. I promise." Of course I didn't do it. The next evening after she'd finished the same routine, she confronted me again. Haley: "Dad, did you brush your teeth, wash your hands and use my sanitizer last night?" Me: "No, dear." Haley: "But you promised!" Me: "I know. I forgot." Haley: "Promise that you'll do it tonight." Me: "OK." Now, what about Kelsee in all of this, you may ask. Nothing. Haley demands no nighttime hygeine ritual for Kelsee. I attribute this to one of two things: 1. I'm putting Haley to bed each night and she must think I stink. (This is apparently something females are born with, this concept that men are pigs.) 2. Kelsee put her up to this. ------- Situation 2 See the traffic school story on my Nov 30 post. ------- Situation 3 The other night, Kelsee and I had a fire in the fireplace. We had one of those four-hour firelogs in there, which apparently can burn for longer than four hours. Needless to say, we needed to go to bed, so we just decided to let the log burn out. We made sure everything flammable was away from the fireplace, and went to bed. Haley woke up and came to our room a few hours later and noticed the log was still burning. She commenced to confront Kelsee about it later, informing us that we should never leave our fire unattended because it could catch the house on fire. ------- Situation 4 Haley, the Peacemaker. Whenever Kelsee and I get in an animated discussion, which isn't all that often, Haley always attempts to intervene. (By the way, I don't yell, I animate. Kelsee yells.) Haley will tell us we don't need to fight, and if that doesn't work, she feigns a headache. No just so you know, to Haley any animated discussion is a fight, even if we aren't fighting. Kids. Anyway, couple these items with bribery (see Kelsee's post), drama, flirting, moodiness, and love of purses, jewelry and clothes, and we've got our hands full with a 20-something woman trapped in a five-year-old girl's body. Time to invest in some intimidating device to keep the boys at bay, or to keep her in line.

Just Because

Another week has come and (almost) gone. Sometimes I just feel like I'm passing time just to pass time. I know that the ultimate purpose of life is to live and learn and get back to heaven, but it seems like sometimes I just move along the path of life with no other objective. Kind of boring, huh? Moving on... So a sister that Kelsee and I home and visit teach passed away on Wednesday. She also happens to be the mother of some good friends, and grandmother of some of our youth. Sad, but the family seems to be at peace with everything, which is nice. And her husband, parents, some grandchildren and all but one of siblings preceeded her in death, so I'm sure it was a joyous reunion on the other side. -------- The joy of having a high deductible insurance plan is that you get another day of celebration during the year--the day you meet the deductible. Well, we did it recently and now we're scrambling to schedule doctor's appointments left and right. (The bummer here is you start making a mental list of all the ailments you have, and that can be pretty depressing.) We had scheduled a neuropsyche eval for Haley, but it had been postponed until January. We were bummed because they are fairly expensive. However, after talking with the Doc, we were able to get it rescheduled back to this month. Definitely a blessing. Of course, we'll probably meet our deductible next year, anyway, but whatever. -------- Two home MSU basketball games, and I've not been to either. Another of the many impacts of increased gas prices is that I actually have to think twice before I hop in the car and head to a game (30 miles away). Can't blame the 2nd abscence on anything but stupidity. I had, ahem, traffic school that night. Or as Haley and Kelsee so eloquently put it, Naughty School. As I got ready to leave, Haley wagged her finger at me as she chastized me for driving too fast. She told me I better never do it again. -------- I'll leave on a humorous note, from the star of Man in the Box.

Things Learned During Thanksgiving

Just a little list of things learned during Thanksgiving weekend... - Men and women are very different. (I already knew this; it was just reaffirmed.) - Traditions can be broken. I would like to officially add green bean casserole to the traditional Thanksgiving menu. (Not that I have a say on the Thanksgiving menu.) - You can actually get through Thanksgiving day without watching football. No, really. You can. I'm as stunned as you are. - Rooms with concrete floors really echo. - People really do want to beat me at things just because I'm me. I thought this was all fabricated by Kris as a creative piece of trash talk during Fantasy Football. Playing Settlers of Catan really hammered it home. Kelsee says it's because I'm smug. Whatever. It's strangely satisfying. - The one day I can eat as much as I want and not feel guilty, and I can barely finish off a second helping. Is it the stuffing expanding in my stomach? The anticipation of the event? Some strange magical spell cast upon the food? - Gut stuffing. Gut gravy. How can it be thanksgiving without it? (Those are my terms for versions of those food items laced with giblets.) Mmmm... - Don't buy a "prepared" Thanksgiving dinner from Kroger's deli. Just make your own. It's not that hard. Trust me. - BYU's got a good football team this year. And a good basketball team, too. - I love football. I even thought it was replacing basketball as my sport of choice to watch. And then basketball season started, and I realized every thing was as it should be. Football is just a pleasant diversion until basketball season starts.