More on the Reunion

Friday night at the reunion. We're walking down the little road from the dining hall to our cabin. It's almost dusk. As we pass people walking our direction, we catch wind that we have a visitor near our cabin, and not a visitor we were anxious to meet. He roamed around our cabins for a while, and we actually decided it wasn't so bad. As a matter of fact, we almost became oblivious to him, and he never even seemed to acknowledge our presence.

As it began to get darker, he disappeared. We didn't see him again until the next evening, practically at the same time. While a few people were a little on edge to see him again, most of us just looked at him with mild fascination. Some even decided to get him to pose for a picture, but he wasn't very cooperative. We snapped a few anyway, then just turned our attention to other things. He milled about the outside of our cabins for a little while, and then just faded off into the night. We didn't even get his name, but he definitely added interest to the reunion.

Here's a picture I was able to get:

Family Reunion Spawns More Haley-isms

First a note on my last post: For those who were offended by my horny tomato reference, let me just say: get your mind out of the gutter! I was referring to the fact it looked like it had grown a horn. I can't imagine what else you thought I might be referring to. Sheesh. ------------ New Playlist stuff: Psycho by Puddle of Mudd Du Hast and Ich Will by Rammstein (they're German Metal) The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson (he gives me the creeps, but this is a good song) Temperature by Sean Paul ------------ Here's stuff from the weekend: We had my Hensley Family Reunion this weekend. It's an extravaganza. Starts Friday afternoon, ends Sunday morning, with a Saturday sandwiched in between (information for those who are using something other than the Julian or Gregorian calendars). This event is an annual tradition of swimming, eating, talking, hiking and sweating. It's held at a 4-H camp complete with air-conditioningless cabins. It is fun in the oppressive summer sun. Haley's favorite part, next to the endless swimming, is seeing her cousins. All of them came on Friday night, except Alex, who came with my sister and her husband on Saturday. Haley asked me at one point on Friday night: "When is Alex going to join us?" Every year we have an auction to help offset the costs of the event, and every year we have our eyes set on one particular item. Last year it was a nice pair of binoculars. This year Kelsee and I had a conflict. I had my eyes set a dancing Santa. Kelsee had her eyes set on a soup tureen (fancy name for soup serving bowl with a big spoon). We are now proud owners of a ceramic bowl. Anyway, Haley has become somewhat enamored with the bowl. Yesterday evening, Kelsee made a killer creamy chicken corn chowder thing, and Haley asked if Kelsee was going to serve it in the new bowl. Kelsee told Haley that we would use that for special occasions. Haley nods her understanding, mentioning a few special occasions (first on the list was Daddy's birthday, much to my delight.) She then looks over to kitchen cupboard with the special China we inherited from Kelsee's grandmother and says: "And we can serve it with the Chinese plates." Speaking of yesterday evening, we had a short thunderstorm that rolled through, which prompted Haley to make a similar comment to one that I don't recall ever mentioning on here. So let me go back about a year and a half. It was a time when Haley was becoming afraid of thunderstorms. We were talking about safety, and we told Haley about tornadoes and how to be safe from them. For family home evening, we made a tornado plan, and took Haley to the basement to show her where we should go in the case of a tornado. A few days later, we were beset with a typical spring thunderstorm: lots of wind, thunder, lightening and rain. Haley was becoming more and more alarmed. At one point she says: "Shouldn't we go downstairs so we can be safe from the tomato." We start this post with tomatoes, we end with tomatoes. Fitting...

My Tomatoes Are Horny!

It all started with my former neighbor's dog. Sure, he may have been tied to one of the big maple trees in their half of our shared back yard, but that didn't stop him from being a gigolo. He had a steady parade of much larger female canine visitors. Well, he and his owner moved away last summer. Yet, he must have left his power behind. I went out to the garden a few days ago to check for any ripe vegetables. I saw one ripe Rutger tomato among a cluster of tomatoes. So, of course, I picked the normal looking fruit. Imagine my surprise when I turned him (yes, it is most definitely a him) over and saw...well...an appendage! I'm sure we now have a cluster of disappointed feminine tomatoes.

Back to work

A few years ago my mom and I created a business making and selling custom made children's clothing. We mostly sell using eBay but do quite a bit offline, too (making more money that way!). We had a lot of fun but life got busy for both of us so we've taken a long hiatus. We're back to selling some things we designed and made earlier. Maybe in the fall we'll get back into the swing of things. Or maybe not. LOL We'll see!

Come see what we're doing: http://myworld.ebay.com/81gingerbreadlane

The good, the bad and the ugly.

It's easy to share the fun stuff - the trips, the funny stories, the cute pictures, the parties and celebrations. You know - the things we scrapbook - the things we love to remember. But what about the reality of our lives? It's sometimes not pretty but I'm going to throw it out here anyway. Haley is really struggling with a lot of things right now. Most days her behavior is really poor and we don't know how to help her. I wish it was as "simple" as the medical diagnoses. If it was just that, I'd feel confident. But the social/emotional/behavioral stuff is kicking my butt. It's so hard not to take her attacks personally, yet I know it's not truly personal - I just happen to be with her 24/7 so I bear the brunt of it. It's so hard to continually garner all of my patience and resolve and love, to speak gently to her and act gently with her when she's raging at me, kicking me, hitting me, spitting on me and then to have her scream at me to stop yelling at her, stop hurting her - I know she's not in control of this behavior but it still hurts. It's horrible to feel like you can't help your own child and that they see you as the aggressor when you're doing everything in your power NOT to react to their rage. The NLD diagnosis does explain a lot of it but how do we help her? I've read a ton of books and websites, I've spoken to other parents dealing with this, we see her specialists regularly, I pray. Then the strategies we implement don't seem to be very helpful and it feels like a losing battles some days. It's stressful and overwhelming. And then we have a good day and I feel hopeful again. One of her doctor wants to add more medications but we don't feel comfortable with that. He also keeps saying that this is just life with a brain injury, that the main thing that's consistent with brain injuries is that brain injured people are inconsistent. I keep feeling that there has to be something we can do to help her cope with her life better. She is such a beautiful little person - so full of wit and sweetness and curiosity and fun. She's bright and capable. She's so funny and has such a wonderful mind. She has a truly astounding memory. She is very musical and artistic. She loves to create things. She brings so much happiness to us. But she's also significantly disabled in invisible ways that impact practically everything in her life. She misinterprets most social situations (I could even say most interactions with anyone else which is at the top of our frustrating list today) and is avoiding eye contact more and more. Emotionally, she's getting colder and less empathetic. In many social situations she is pretty much non-responsive - even with people she knows well. She is so rigid and obsessive in her thoughts. She fatigues so easily. She has very few coping skills, very little attention span. Her vision and visual perception are impaired. She has poor coordination/motor skills. She has numerous sensory integration problems. Lots of anxiety. The list goes on and on and on. And yet you look at her and she appears so typical. People just have no idea how challenging her life is - for her and for those of us that love her so much. It's heartbreaking. And yet she is a fighter and so are we. I know things will be okay. But I also know that our future is not going to be easy. And that's hard to face - even with strong faith, a loving and supportive family, great friends and great medical and therapeutic resources.

More on Camping

A couple of add-ons to Kelsee's camping post:

• As we were telling Haley about the cave we were going to explore, and as she often does when she doesn't want to do something, she animatedly listed the reasons she didn't want to go into the cave. One, bears, and two, popsicles. Huh? She clarified: it's really cold in a cave and they have ice. Oh. Icicles. Gotcha.
• In the lovely waterfall we played in, I movement caught my eye. A crawdad (crawfish, crayfish, whatever)! I was excited, as only dads can be when presented the opportunity to share with their child something new. I picked it (as you can see from the pictures in Kelsee's post). Haley had a guarded fascination with it. On our way home from our trip, we stopped once more to frolic in the cool stream of water. As we approached, Haley asked if the crab would be there. Kelsee corrected her. Crawdad, not crab. So Haley proceeded to ask me several times, as we played in the water, if the crabtree was there.
• I love camping. Really I do. Just a couple of things that bug me, pun intended: 1) That's right. Bugs. I have no problem with bugs in general. I love working in my yard, and often find my hands wrist deep in all sorts of creepy crawlies. And when we're camping, I don't mind bugs when I'm messing around the site, or even eating. But when I go to sleep, and I glance up to the top of the tent, illuminated in the lamplight, and I see ants and mosquitos and spiders and various other insects just waiting to share my sleeping bag with me... Yuck! I'm not afraid of them, I just find the thought of waking up to feel insects exploring my skin to be a rather unpleasant thought. 2) Speaking of sleep, why must the ground be so hard?!? We've tried an air matress, but this doesn't work well if both sleeping mates aren't the same size. Kelsee ended up plastered against me all night, and in the summer, that's the last thing you want. Plus, if you get a cheap mattress, it deflates as the night goes on, which means you are on the ground anyway. For the most part we use foam mattress pads. Three of them. On top we pile two sleeping bags and a comforter, before climbing on top of the pile ourselves and topping it off with a sheet. Still, I wake multiple times in the night and ask myself why I hate myself so much. 3) The key to dutch oven cooking is the right number of coals. We made mountain man breakfast, and the potatoes never got cooked, and the egg was less than solid. However, we made cobler and BBQ chicken one night and everything was phenomenal. I guess it's more of an art than a science. 4) Rain is our friend. Rain is our friend. Rain is our friend.
• Last thought on cameras. So we were relegated to using the camera on my cell phone because our digital camera has disappeared. On one hand, bummer. On the other, this gave me a chance to us my new camera phone. When I was reading the reviews on my phone (a Samsung Blackjack), some guy said it took better pictures than his digital camera. While that didn't play a factor in my getting the phone, I filed that tidbit away in my mental filing cabinet. Let me just say, that guy must have had a pretty crappy digital camera. As you can see from the pictures in the last few posts, they are hardly quality. And those were the best of the lot. Sheesh.

Camping Extravaganza

We went on a three day camping trip this week and discovered a beautiful area practically in our back yard (less than 2 hours away). We had intended to go to Cumberland Gap National Park (3 hours away) but decided at the last minute that we didn't want to waste the money on gas when we had just been there a few months ago. Instead we decided to go to Carter Caves State Resort Park (about an hour east of us). When we arrived on Monday morning we realized that we'd never be able to handle that campground - rows of campsites intended for RVers that like to socialize. Ugh! We camp for the peace, quiet, seclusion and beauty of being in nature. That campground was NOT going to work for us. We took a drive through Tygarts State Forest and then visited the park's Visitor's Center (ahhh, so many memories from numerous trips I've taken there since I was a little girl). At the store Haley used her money to buy a huge lollipop. She left the building and immediately crashed to the ground (I think she missed a step - she has very poor depth perception). The lollipop was shattered beyond recognition. After ascertaining that Haley was not really hurt, her soft hearted daddy made another trip to the store for another red and white lollipop. Tears dried and lollipop licked, we tried to convince Haley to go spelunking with us. Haley was terrified of going into a cave because bears live in caves but we finally convinced her to trust us and spent an enjoyable hour or so playing in Laurel Cave and the waterfall inside an adjoining cave.

Still in search of a campsite, we decided to drive to another state park about 20 minutes away. Same problem. A campground built for social RVers. We were now almost and hour and a half from home and had nowhere to stay for the night. We knew we could drive back to Cave Run Lake and stay in one of their campgrounds but we were already planning a trip there in September so we really wanted to branch out. In desperation, I pulled out my map and noticed that right across the Ohio River was a national forest with lots of camping. Once we had cell service I called my sister to have her look up the phone number for the campground closest to us. When we called they had openings with electricity (a necessity for Jason's CPAP). We started heading in that direction. At this point I have to add that I am a compulsive and obsessive planner. Flying by the seat of my pants on vacation is nerve-wracking for me. And Haley? She was pretty hysterical about the fact that we weren't camping yet and were never going to find a place. She's pretty obsessive and compulsive about a lot of things! We crossed the river (on a poorly marked bridge) and arrived at our campground within 25 minutes of our initial call. It was GORGEOUS!!!! This was definitely a wonderful surprise! We spent the next three days cooking in dutch ovens, playing rummy, making S'mores, swimming at the beach, walking on the boardwalk at the lake, reading, playing with caterpillars, listening to the birds, trying to stay dry with huge thunderstorms rumbling all around us and just enjoying being away from everything. All three of us had a great time! In fact, we'd gladly return to the same spot next year. Here's a link to the area where we were: http://www.fs.fed.us/r9/wayne/recreation_sites/ves_recreation.html Haley says her favorite parts of our trip were playing in the waterfalls, eating BBQ chicken and roasted corn on the cob, swimming at the beach and playing with bugs. I can't wait for our next camping trip!

The Cookie Monster

The other day, everyone wanted chocolate cookies, so I decided to take the initiative and throw a batch together. I pulled out the mixer and all the ingredients, grabbed the Tollhouse recipe from Kelsee's recipe box and went crazy. Anyone who would have stepped into the kitchen would have realized how lost I really was, but everyone wisely kept their distance. Anyway, after a whirlwind effort, and spooned some globs of dough on a cookie sheet and baked away. Ten minutes or so later, I pulled hot cookies from the oven. I examine discs. They looked like cookies. They smelled like cookies. But how would they taste. I bit into one. Hmmm... not bad. Still I'll let the fam do the tasting. Kelsee was reading a book in bed, so I took her a couple, complete with a glass of milk (yes, I am the perfect husband). She commenced to tell me that were probably even better than my mom's (which is quite a compliment; my mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies ever, in our eyes). Cameron snuck a few while I was upstairs, and told Kelsee they might have been the best he ever had. Haley just ate hers without breathing, which is a compliment, I guess. Apparently, they all felt like I could add these to my short list of culinary masterpieces, which also includes grilled cheese sandwiches (affectionately referred to in our home as cheese toasties), tuna fish sandwiches, fried eggs and toast. So, not that I have this newly discovered talent, Kelsee decided to go for broke and have me make some more over the weekend. Let's just say that lightening rarely strikes twice in the same spot. These cookies were OK, but nothing to write home about. Still that didn't seem to stop Haley from enjoying them to the fullest:

Speaking of messy kids, Haley's cousin Blake celebrated his first birthday yesterday. He seemed to enjoy the cake...

Happy Birthday! -- A Haley-ism

Haley and I were sitting in the van outside Kelsee's parents house on Friday night. We had just spent the evening with her family and now were waiting for Kelsee to come out so we could go home. Somehow we got on the topic of birthdays and I mentioned to Haley that mine was coming up soon. The following conversation took place... Haley: You should have a High School Musical cake, Daddy. A Gabriella/Chad cake. Me: No, thanks. You might like a High School Musical cake, but not me. Haley: But you like Gabriella and Chad. Me: No, you like Gabriella and Chad. Haley: Maybe you could have a Dinosaur/Chad cake. Me, laughing: Um, no thanks. Haley: What, too Dinosaury? Me: Not really. Haley: Too Chady? Me: I'm just not interested in that. Haley: Well, what kind do want, Daddy? Me: Probably just chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Haley, after a second's hesitation: Excellent choice, Daddy. Thanks, kiddo.

New Games, Same Result

OK. I just reread Kelsee's last post and I couldn't just let it pass. To quote my better half, with regards to the Wii: "I did well, especially with the bowling and tennis. I'm not athletic at all so this was a big surprise for me (that I did so well!)." I scoff at her surprise! What she neglected to mention is her prowess with pretty much any game she plays. While the games in question might have simulated sports, they were still games. And she kicks butt at games. I chalk it up to 60% intelligence and 40% competitiveness. Yes, that's right. My dear, meek, gentle wife is a competitive fiend. (Check out the asterisk at the bottom of this post.) Anyway, back to her gaming prowess...

• Word games. Like Boggle and Scrabble. Kelsee is our resident wordsmith. We play boggle and I'll come away with 15 or 20 words or so. She'll have like 30 or 40. Only Kally has been able to provide competition in Boggle. Kolby could, if he wouldn't spend so much time looking for the obscure eight letter words. In Scrabble, she comes up with the 68 point words when everyone else is getting 10 or 12.
• Strategy games. We are avid board gamers, and we play alot of the civilization/city building strategy games (Like Settlers of Cataan, Carcasonne, Attica, etc.) There are the occasional nights when I'll pull off a few wins, but most of the time we measure my wins in number per week and her's in number per night.
• Card games*. Like Uno, Rummy and Phase 10. We'll play to 500 in Rummy and she'll beat me by more than 100. In Phase 10 she'll usually be up two phases by the time we're four phases in.
• Computer games. She has a knack of figuring out a computer game quickly, then play it exclusively until she's mastered it or is bored with and then moves on to the next game. Only, it takes her much less time to master it than most people. Tetris, Bejeweled, Mah Jong, Jezzball, whatever. I'll play Jezzball and the game will be over in like four minutes. Her's will take 15 minutes and she'll be many hundreds of thousands of points higher than me.
• Shower games. No, not like you think. Get your mind out of the gutter. I mean bridal shower, baby shower, etc. She came back from the most recent baby shower and I was actually shocked--I mean, SHOCKED--that she didn't win either of the games they played. I thought she was slipping, then she announced that she'd spent more time holding one of the babies that was there than she did playing the game.
• Now, the Wii. She got the second highest bowling score of the night, just behind gaming junky Kirby and just ahead of athlete Kody. She ended up winning more tennis matches than she lost (even hitting her dad with her "racket" when he moved too close while she was swinging, or so she says).

Now, you might think there could be another answer to this (ie. maybe Jason just sucks at games). But she does this to everyone, not just me. We play party games sometimes at family parties. She more often than not wins or is on the winning team. Like Scattergories or Taboo. Even Trivial Pursuit. Cameron even comments on this if someone else wins when we are playing games.

Now to explain the * next to card games. There is the rare instance that we find a game that I win. Rare being the operative word here. Shortly after we were married, we went through a Rook phase. For some reason, I won more often than Kelsee. She would get frustrated, but when I suggested we stop or play something else, she'd just lean back in her chair and say "Deal again." One particular night, her competitive self was a major glutton for punishment. I went on quite a run, and she became more and more frustrated. Finally, after another loss, she looked at the stack of cards on the table, then looked at me, and then with both hands shoved all the cards towards me in anger. The cards littered around me on the floor, I vowed to her that we would never play that game again. She asked from time to time over the next few days, but finally gave up. We haven't played that game for 13 years.

And she's never gotten that mad at losing a game again. Of course, since she rarely loses...